Weapon of Choice
by omi1
Summary: Rude and Reno contemplate the many uses of weaponry.
1. Chapter 1

**Weapon of Choice  
by omi**

Rude did not believe in guns. Yeah, sure, he logged on the same amount of practice as the rest of the Turks, enough to be proficient at hitting little paper targets a hundred meters away anyway, but he never did get used to the things.

Too cold. Too hard. Too prone to running out of bullets, unlike his fists, which were infinitely more convenient, and were in more-or-less inexhaustable supply. Guns needed regular cleaning and maintenance, and were filled with too tiny parts that could go bust if you weren't careful. This was especially irritating when all he wanted was to just point and shoot. Plus, he never had to worry about misplacing his fists -- the same could not be said of his standard issue.

Fists were simple. It's all about you and the other guy, duking it out, _moving_ and trying to land one that counted. It's practically an artform, in the right hands.

Rude was _good_ at fists.

That was the reason why he was still alive, if a little torn up. Rude winched as his partner finished tying up the make-shift bandage around his chest. "... who the fuck in their right mind go up against a battalion of armed rebel troops with his fists. Tseng said! It's supposed to be a long-range attack. Looooonnng raannngggeee..." Reno dragged out the words for additional emphasis. "That mean anything to you? It sure as fuck doesn't mean jumping in with your fists waving!"

Rude looked away uncomfortably, and felt around his pockets for his spare shades, slipping them on with a perceptible sense of relief. From behind his shades, Reno looked less pale, less shaky from equal parts post-battle nerves and a real irritation with his partner. Rude could only sit there quietly, meekly, as Reno continued his tirade.

"... you forgot your gun, didn't you? DUDE! How in hell do you remember to bring spare sunglasses to a mission and yet FORGET TO BRING YOUR OWN GUN?!"

Rude hunkered down miserably in the shade of the blown up bunker to wait for rescue while his partner continued to harangue him.

break

The wound wasn't that bad, a couple of days in the hospital where the docs slapped a couple of stitches, and Rude was as right as rain after. By comparison, the dressing down from Tseng regarding battle orders, loss of standard issue equipment, expensive rescue missions; and the fines for said loss of standard issue equipment was markedly worse.

"Go collect your new weapon when you leave, and this time, do try to hang on to it a little longer," concluded Tseng acidly as he signed off on their mission report.

"Yes sir," muttered Rude.

He left Tseng's office with something like discouragement. His partner was waiting outside, and fell into step with him as they walked down the corridor.

"Aw, come on," Reno slung a companionable arm around Rude's shoulder. "It's not that bad, I've gotten a lot worse from him, y'know. Look, I'll go with you to pick out your new gun. Bet we can get you something sweet -- something that you wouldn't lose this time."

They went down to the weapons department, and Reno began wandering around the shelves, poking at the various guns and weaponry with his typical magpie curiousity. Finally, he brought out a large hand gun and placed it in front of Rude with a flourish.

"Here you go. One Desert Eagle .44 magnum 6 inch semi-auto. Well made, solid and it can stop a goddam rhino in its tracks. Take care of it, and it won't let you down." He sat opposite Rude and pulled out his own personal weapon out and fingered it fondly. "Just so you don't lose this one, I'm gonna tell you what my old instructor told me.

"Your weapon is something... special. It is like your wife, your lover, your mistress. You must feel it, treat it with respect, but never let it master you. You should spend every waking moment with it, which means you will eat with it, bathe with it, sleep with it, go everywhere with it. Treat it well, and it'll take care of you in every way, just like me and my baby here," finished Reno smugly, twirling his electric rod in his hand.

Rude blinked. He thought about what Reno said for a moment, and then looked first at the gun in front of him and then at his hands, a phrase from Reno's spiel reverberating in his head. He continued to stare intently at his hands, his eyebrow inching higher and higher with each passing moment.

He could accept the whole 'weapon lover' logic without too much problem, Rude decided. After all, Mr Right and Left Hand were his best friends in a dry spell when no one he liked was handy. But how was he supposed to decide which was his wife, and which was his lover, the tall bald man wondered, his forehead furrowing slightly in thought. And does that mean his new gun will be his mistress? And was he _really_ supposed to use his weapon _this_ way?

Then, another -- more pressing -- thought struck him and he stared, first at his partner's electric rod with disbelief, and then, after several interesting, and above all, _vivid _mental images, at his partner with an marked increase in respect.

Reno stopped toying with his weapon, and looked suspiciously at Rude. "You're thinking strange thoughts again, aren't you?" A vein pulsed in his forehead.

Rude's eyes dropped down to Reno's rod, and then back at Reno again.

Reno's fingers went slack, and his rod dropped from his suddenly motionless hands. Swiftly, Rude swooped and managed to grab the weapon before it hit the floor. Carefully, delicately, he placed it back into Reno's unresisting hands, and said in his low gravelly voice, "You should be more careful with that." He gave the rod a gentle pat, and smiled at Reno.

"..."

"Ew, eeeew, EEEEEEWWWWWWW!!" The rod fell onto the floor with a loud clatter, and Reno launched himself at Rude at the same time. His hands fisted in Rude's shirt and the thin redhead began to shake Rude violently. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING? OH, GROSSS FUCK! THAT IS GROSS!! HOW THE FUCK AM I EVER GONNA USE MY ROD AGAIN??" Rude stoically endured the shaking, until finally, Reno collasped against his chest, shuddering uncontrollably. "Oh man, I feel so unclean now..." Reno whimpered.

Rude patted Reno gently on the back, looking down at the shaking body and his own large hands.

Yup, he is definitely a fist guy.


	2. Chapter 2

**Guns and Rods  
by omi**

"I think it'll be kinda hot," Rude said meditatively, his low bass reverberating in the quiet room.

Reno's shoulders were still shaking. "That's because you're warped. And sick." His voice came out muffled from against Rude's chest.

"Mmm..." But the idea, once voiced out in the open, was difficult to dislodge. The partners sat there, arms around each other, and considered the idea. The image of Rude, all slick tanned muscles, legs apart, _rubbing the gun against his massive straining cock..._ flashed across Reno's mind. Rude, on the other hand, lost himself imagining Reno, his hair all mussed from sex, pale body dripping with sweat, _the cold black stun stick pressing slowly but surely into him..._

They wouldn't remember who moved first, or even how they managed to get back to Rude's room, later. Somehow, they'd made it into the room, slamming the door shut with a bang, and collapsed onto the bed, tearing in a frenzy at each other's clothes.

"This is a fucking bad idea," panted Reno, his face flushed and his eyes fever-bright with lust, even as his fingers fumbled with Rude's belt.

Rude looked up from tearing off Reno's shirt with his teeth and spat out a recalcitrant button. "Do we ever have _good_ ones?" he asked blankly.

"Ah," Reno blinked for a moment. "Good point." And he pulled Rude closer by his neck, and tried to swallow his face whole, mouth biting, lapping at Rude's mouth, his jaw, his neck. He nipped at the side of Rude's neck, the jumping pulse beneath his lips a mirror beat to his own. Rude growled at the sensation, his throat reverberating under Reno's mouth, and Reno thought he might burst right there and then.

"Me... first," Reno choked the words out, as he fell against Rude, pinning him down upon the bed. He pulled away reluctantly, pulling the gun out of Rude's holster as he did so before straddling him. Reno sat back on his haunches and looked down at his dark partner, heart pounding a mad beat within his chest, his shirt falling off his shoulders, hair mussed. His trousers fly was already open, and his cock strained at the thin fabric of his briefs.

He stroked the cold gunmetal shaft of Rude's semi-auto with a pale pale finger, and smiled.

"Safety catch..." mumbled Rude, his throat flexing as he stared up at Reno. Reno's weight was on his chest, his thighs on either side of his neck -- he was completely in the mercy of his maniacal redhead partner. Rude smiled up at Reno.

Reno leaned down to catch Rude's face with both hands, the gun pressing painfully against Rude's face. "_What safety catch?_" he whispered just before his lips descended in a kiss.

The kiss lasted for an eternity. They were both shaking by the time they broke away, panting for breath. Reno wiped away the saliva from his lips with the back of his hand roughly, and grinned. "Show me how much ya' love your gun?" he asked conversationally, head tilted to a side.

The gun barrel swung up and glided along the strong planes of Rude's face, lingering at his lips, still wet and panting.

Slowly, Reno fitted the business end of the gun into Rude's mouth. He watched, entranced, as Rude's lips parted, the barrel slowly disappearing into the dark recesses of his mouth. Rude's eyes fixed upon Reno's, staring, as Reno pushed the barrel further in. The only noise he made was a low grunt, when the barrel finally touched the back of his throat.

"Suck it," Reno whispered hoarsely, his eyes gleaming with an unholy light.

Rude's mouth worked around the cold hard barrel, the taste of metal stark on his tongue. He draw back slightly, his head sinking back into the pillows, and his large nimble tongue darted out to lick the barrel.

Reno's breath frozed within his chest at the sight, and his hand fell lax for an instant. Then, he tightened his grip, and began to thrust the gun in a slow steady rhythm, his other hand fumbling at his own cock, pulling it out of his briefs and whacking off to the same beat, his cock bobbing just behind the gun, the friction from it and his own hand hotter than blood.

This was like no other handjob he's ever had... He could feel Rude's hot breath gusting on his hand, on his cock, as he pulled the gun in and out, the wet slick as Rude's mouth took it in eagerly. It was as hot as if it were his own cock that Rude was sucking on, licking. _He could kill him so easily, if he pushed it in hard enough, if he fucked a hole in Rude's throat, if he pulled the trigger..._

_And if they're already damned to hell and back, why fucking stop there when they could go so much fucking further?_ A small voice inside Reno's head whispered.

Reno laughed at that, and he leaned forward, his cock pressing hard beside the gun against Rude's mouth. "Come on, I'm feeling all left out here. Suck us both off, sugar" he grinned, and rocked his hips up against Rude's face. He jerked the gun aside roughly, the metal scraping painfully against Rude's teeth, the corner of his mouth, and jammed his cock in right alongside it. Rude opened his mouth wider, and took him in completely.

It was tight. Tighter than any woman, tighter than any man. His cock was pressed up against the gun, Rude's teeth, the hot soft mouth, the slicked hard metal.

Reno rocked, back and forth, plunging in and out of Rude's mouth, panting, grunting, and Rude did this _amazing_ thing with his tongue and the roof of his mouth, and his teeth scraped just lightly against his cock, and he was rocking faster and faster, pistoning into Rude's mouth, the gun pistoning right along with him. He was burning up with lust and desire and the need to fuck Rude's mouth raw and damn his fingers were slipping from the saliva and precum, he was gonna shoot, the gun was gonna shoot, and he was gonna lose the best partner he'd ever had, and most of his dick as well if the fucking gun went off now and fuck, but he was getting harder at the thought, Rude's mouth getting tighter, and he's losing his grip on the gun and it was gonna fire and _damn him_ if this wasn't one of the hottest thing he'd ever imagined. If they had to go, he wanted it to be now, with Rude's mouth wrapped tight around his dick and his gun, sucking him off and he's gonna _explode_. He's gonna _BLOW..._

Reno shouted wordlessly as he spurted into Rude's mouth, his back arching back, his fingers slipping off the gun to bite into Rude's shoulders in a white-knuckled grip as he rode out the waves of his orgasm. The gun tumbled out of Rude's mouth and onto the side of the bed, slick with saliva and cum, and forgotten in the heat of the moment.

Reno collapsed the next instant, falling backwards bonelessly onto Rude, his chest still rising and falling with every pant.

Rude swallowed the cum, barely grimacing at the taste, and gently shifted Reno off his body and onto his bed. He settled his partner more comfortably, fingers nimbly working Reno's clothes off as he did so. Pants, briefs, socks joined the growing pile of abandoned clothes on the floor.

Reno stirred a little, "Wha...?"

Rude crouched over him, dark contrasting with light, rounded muscles contrasting with jutting bones over skin. "My turn," said Rude, as he ran rough calloused hands down Reno's body.

"Oh..." and he relaxed into Rude's hands.

Reno's body was not perfect. Marred in some places by scars -- with a particularly gruesome one stretching right across the chest when it had been just a little too close, and help a little too far away -- it was the story of Reno's life etched into his body. It read like those two-bit sensational gunslinger novels, too much booze, too little food, and a helluva lot of fights.

His collar bone jutted out, and while he can't _quite_ count the number of ribs he had (although Rude assumed the normal complement were all there), it was a close thing.

He looked almost fragile, if Rude didn't know better. He licked his lips, tasting the last vestiges of Reno on his tongue. His hands, hard and callused, made a long slow journey, down Reno's chest, to his hips, to the soft, still-wet cock in between his thighs and the tight white ass behind.

Rude pulled Reno's legs apart. At least this one part of his body was unscarred. His hands lingered, stroking Reno's soft unmarred inner thighs and ass.

Reno stirred a little at the motion. "Hurry up and do it," he said, as he spread his legs further apart on his own accord. Rude grinned, and shoved a pillow under Reno's hips before reaching down for Reno's stun gun and snagging a convenient bottle of lotion along the way.

He slicked lotion around his hands, onto the rod, around Reno's openings, and slowly, teasingly, inserted two fingers into Reno's ass. Reno tensed around his fingers, his inner muscles clamping down painfully around them. Rude waited patiently for Reno to relax, his other hand rubbing small circles on Reno's belly as he whispered to Reno a soft litany of "It's okay, it'll feel good, I'll make it good for you," until white-clenched fists slowly, deliberately, relaxed.

And Rude could move again.

His fingers shifted, flexed, gradually stretching the tight, taunt inner walls, even as he palmed Reno's cock with his other hand. He leaned down over Reno, dropping kisses on his chest and torso as he went.

Under Rude's caresses, Reno's body responded. His cock stiffened under Rude's hand, and his hips shifted restlessly, rocking a little. Rude grazed Reno's nipple with his teeth, and his fingers slid out and reached for the stun gun.

He pushed the rod into Reno's ass. The suddenness of the entry made the redhaired bucked violently, and he nearly threw Rude off. "Fuck, that's COLD!!"

Rude grinned, his white teeth shining, even as he pressed Reno back down into the sheets, ignoring his partner's resistance. "No, no, _fuck, NO!_" Reno thrashed, legs and arms flailing as he tried to lever himself up and off his own fucking weapon. "I CHANGED MY FUCKING MIND, OKAY?!"

Rude ignored him. He pushed Reno back, putting the weight of his superior body mass almost entirely on Reno, even he pushed the rod deeper into Reno. He kissed Reno, sealing the curses and shouting with his lips, his tongue, until the redhead no longer had the breath to move, much less shout.

Gasping, Reno could only lie there, whimpering incoherently as he held on to Rude with a death-grip. His cock was pressed into Rude's belly, Rude's cock was an iron-hard staff hot against his thighs, and the cold slick steel of his weapon thrusted in and out of his ass.

"Want... you... You... ahh..." panted Reno, his arms tightening around Rude as he rocked to the rhythm of Rude's hand. Rude pumped the rod a few more times, before finally pulling it out and tossing it on the floor. He shifted, his hands pulling Reno's legs around his waist, his massive cock positioned at Reno's opening... and he stayed like that.

After about four seconds of total inactivity later, Reno blinked and stared up at Rude. The bigger man was just kneeling there, positioned, waiting.

Waiting.

"Yaa... You're so mean..." Reno said petulently, even as his legs tightened around Rude's waist, and he began to pull himself slowly, labouriously on top of Rude's dick. "Do I--" breath, "--have to do everything around here?" With a final surge, he impaled himself completely upon Rude's cock.

Rude laughed, a deep low rumble that shook across his body to the point where they were joined. "If you want me, you have to get me," rumbled Rude before lowering himself onto Reno. His voice growled softly into Reno's ear as he started thrusting.

"But once you've got me, I'm yours."

fin


End file.
